How to Survive Wedding Season Without Breaking the Bank
Wedding season is upon us, and soon our WhatsApp inboxes, emails, and even physical mailboxes will be blooming with wedding invitations from across Israel. But one quick glance at an invitation is enough to remind us of the not-so-cheerful expenses tied to these joyous events. We’ve compiled a set of practical tips to help you enjoy the season while keeping your finances in check.
The Big Question: How Much Should You Give?
When deciding how much to give as a gift, several thoughts often come to mind:
“The check should cover the cost of the meal.”
The wedding gift is not a payment for your meal. It’s not a dinner out. Therefore, the amount doesn’t need to reflect the cost of your plate. Base your decision on your closeness to the couple and your personal financial situation—not on the venue or the estimated cost of your attendance.
“We should match the amount we received at our own wedding.”
A gift should reflect your willingness and ability to give. There is no obligation to repay what you once received.
“We’re attending with fewer people, so the gift can be smaller.”
When deciding who in the family will attend, consider who will make the couple happiest by being there. Let that guide your decision about the size of the gift.
Need a hand?
There are online gift calculators where you input event details, your relationship to the couple, and number of attendees to get a suggested amount. Just remember: these tools don’t consider personal or cultural nuances. Always adjust the gift to reflect your local norms and your own budget.
How to Give the Gift
Checks are still common, but credit card contributions have become more popular. Some couples offer this option at the event or via online platforms—especially useful if you’re unable to attend in person. Some service providers even offer incentives to the couple to encourage guests to use these platforms.
This new method can make the gift feel more like a crowdfunding campaign. Ultimately, give the gift in a way that feels respectful and right to you.
Please note:
Some companies allow you to pay the gift in installments. Remember: this is a loan in every sense. It rarely makes financial sense to go into debt for a wedding gift.
What to Wear?
Formalwear can be expensive—especially evening attire. But there’s no need to buy a new outfit for every celebration. With a few tweaks in accessories or styling, you can look fresh and up-to-date without feeling like you’re hitting replay.
Should You Bring the Kids?
Before loading the kids into the car, consider:
- Were your children explicitly invited?
- Will the children actually enjoy the event?
- Does it matter to the couple whether they’re there?
- Are you prepared to give a larger gift if the whole family comes?
Sometimes it’s more enjoyable and economical to leave the kids with a babysitter or older sibling—even if they’re eager to see the bride’s dress. A quick photo sent via WhatsApp costs nothing.
How to Save on Gas?
Don’t drive to the wedding with an empty car. Coordinate with friends or family—see who else is attending and offer to carpool. Next time, they can return the favor.
Include Weddings in Your Family Budget
Think of weddings as part of your family’s entertainment budget—even if it’s not the kind of fun you’d typically choose. Set aside a portion of your budget in advance for upcoming weddings.
And most importantly—Mazel Tov!
Work Colleague Getting Married?
If the invitation is from a colleague of one spouse and not the other, there’s no obligation to attend as a couple.
You can attend with other coworkers, pool your funds for a joint gift, and share travel costs.
Want to show respect but prefer not to stay for the whole event? Let your friend know in advance that you’ll attend the ceremony but not the meal—saving the couple the cost of your plate and reducing your own expenses.
In a Particularly Tight Financial Spot?
If you’re going through a rough patch financially, consider speaking honestly with the couple. You may be able to attend without a meal being ordered on your behalf, allowing you to share in the joy without paying the “meal fee.” You can always give your gift when your situation improves.
