On Money, Kindness, and What Truly Fills Us
A Story That Begins at the Bottom
The Book of Ruth opens with the story of Elimelech. At a time of famine and hardship in Bethlehem, he chose to leave with his entire family and settle in Moab. The commentators paint a vivid picture of just how far Elimelech had fallen, morally speaking, before his journey even began.
According to the Midrash, Elimelech was one of the great leaders of his generation, a man with the means and responsibility to support others. When the years of famine arrived, he feared the poor would come knocking at his door. So he ran. He abandoned his home, his community, and his people. He chose to protect his wealth over his relationships.
Moab, his destination, was itself a symbol of the opposite of kindness. The Moabites were known for refusing hospitality to those in need, representing the very antithesis of generosity and human connection.
The Cost of Putting Money Above All Else
Elimelech’s story is a cautionary tale about what happens when we treat money and status as the goal rather than the tool. He left full, in every material sense, but at the price of everything that truly matters: loyalty, generosity, and a sense of responsibility toward others.
“I went out full and came back empty.” (Ruth 1:21)
These painful words of Naomi capture the root mistake Elimelech made. He sought to protect his kingdom, his money, and his standing, and yet the wheel turned. His sons died, his wealth was gone, and Naomi returned home with nothing.
Yet when Naomi does return, stripped of everything, she understands, perhaps for the first time, what it truly means to be full. While Elimelech had treated money as an end in itself, Naomi came to understand what really matters, what real stability looks like, and what real fullness in life feels like. She set aside her pride and returned home as a poor widow, and she did so willingly, because being home was what mattered most.
The Repair: Ruth, Boaz, and the Power of Choosing Others
From that low point, a process of healing begins, driven by the extraordinary kindness of Ruth and Boaz, two people who simply refuse to be indifferent to the suffering around them. They follow their inner moral compass, even when it would have been easier not to.
Ruth sets aside her own desires again and again. She stays with her lonely, elderly mother-in-law when it would have been far more practical to leave. She gives up her dignity to glean leftover grain in the fields like a poor young woman. She acts, quietly and consistently, in the opposite spirit to Elimelech and to her own people of origin.
Boaz, described as a man of great valor, earns that title not on a battlefield but in the battles of everyday life. Through his moral integrity, honesty, and gentleness, he notices Ruth immediately, offers her food and protection, treats her with care and respect, and ultimately fulfills his duty to her family.
Even Naomi, in her grace, urged her daughters-in-law not to come with her so they could have a real chance to rebuild their own lives. That too is an act of generosity.
Ruth, Boaz, and Naomi all teach us that true fullness is a choice: the choice to live for what matters, to invest in relationships, to identify with the pain of others, and to give with warmth and dedication.
What Are We Really Chasing?
We are all on this journey, asking ourselves what will make us feel full, what will bring us happiness, what we are really working toward. Very often we set ourselves a specific goal because we are convinced that if we just had that one thing, we would finally feel complete. If we could just reach that savings amount, take that vacation, buy that house, then we would be happy.
This can be especially tempting in times of uncertainty, when the mind looks for something solid to hold onto. We reach for external markers of security instead of pausing to ask what we actually value.
At Paamonim, our counselors walk alongside families in financial difficulty on their path to financial recovery. We do not tell people what they should or should not spend money on. Instead, we encourage every individual to reflect on their core values and deepest desires, and from that place, to examine their priorities. When are we buying out of genuine need, and when are we buying out of a passing want? And if it is a want, it is worth asking what is driving it. Is it social pressure? An unmet emotional need? A belief we have quietly built up that this purchase is the key to our happiness?
Spending money on something you want is perfectly fine, and can even be wonderful, as long as it is a conscious and considered choice rather than an impulse you might later regret. Through honest self-reflection and awareness, we can manage our money and our choices in a way that truly aligns with our values and our deepest desires.
The Bigger Picture: Stepping Outside Ourselves
Dr. Yael Ziegler, in her book Ruth: From Alienation to Monarchy, captures the deeper message of the scroll beautifully:
“Ruth and Boaz teach us how two individuals can act according to the dictates of their conscience, in opposition to the social alienation and indifference that surrounds them. In doing so, they open the possibility of bringing an end to this state of irresponsibility and hopelessness, and paving the way toward a functioning society in which the nation can build a strong and united home.”
Reading the Book of Ruth is an invitation to each of us. It calls us to look around and ask: who needs us right now? Emotionally, physically, financially? Those who are visible and those who are not.
The scroll that began at a moral low point, passed through a healing of values centered on kindness and friendship, and ended with the birth of King David. Perhaps that is the challenge in every generation: to choose, again and again, to step outside of ourselves, to move beyond the comfort zone, to resist the natural pull toward protecting only what is immediately ours.
The volunteer counselors at Paamonim work year-round to strengthen the financial stability of thousands of households through individual guidance, group workshops, and a wide range of dedicated programs. We walk step by step alongside families who have found themselves in financial turmoil, offering support, direction, and a real path forward.
We too choose the path of Ruth and Boaz: to empower, to give, to guide, and to help every person and every family build a more stable and fulfilling life.
For Conversation Around the Table
What does it mean to step outside ourselves, especially when we have every reason to focus on our own needs and those of our immediate family?
Is there a point at which it is right to prioritize our own wellbeing before that of others? Where is that line?
What fills us up in life, truly and deeply? And what do we sometimes mistake for fullness?
We invite you to ask those around the table, including the children: What acts of kindness and giving do you see in your community? Who does it affect more, the giver or the receiver?
Where does each person feel they can step outside of themselves right now? What ideas could you explore together?
Wishing you a meaningful and joyful holiday
