From the cycle of violence to a financially independent life, D. learns to live differently

From the cycle of violence to a financially independent life, D. learns to live differently

Letter from a single mother from Ramat Gan, who receives assistance from paamonim

I came to you after great concerns in the recommendation of a friend who was the one who contacted the organization and emphasized that I needed someone warm and sensitive. I arrived terrified in every way after years of violence of all kinds, including economic violence. At the first meeting at the paamonim, I met my accompanying municipality ever since, and the connection between us was immediate. I have tested and tested it countless times as a result of my past residues…. And she’s been there, she’s been there with me every step of the way and she’s still with me, even today.

I started all over again and when I looked at the financial data, my eyes turned black from all the numbers and papers. But Irit taught me what these numbers are, what a bank account is, how to make calculated purchases, taught me that you can keep receipts from a place of learning and not from a place of violence, and many other important things. And all – with patience and great containment.

Indeed, since I’ve been organizing paamonim, I’ve been learning…

I’m learning to think before I take out.
Learning to check prices.
I’m learning to pick up the phone and ask for help before I have big expenses or expenses I’m not sure of.
I’m learning to stop shopping, even though sometimes I feel like being the girl who doesn’t have to take any responsibility and spend non-stop as compensation for what I went through.
Learning to regain confidence.
I’m learning that I deserve rights.
Learning that I am equal despite the dismissive words of the divorced.
I’m learning that you can love me and that there are good things about me.

Even today, after many months of being accompanied by Irit, I am still learning and falling and still making mistakes. Yesterday, for example, I made a mistake in recording an expense. I knew exactly about the existence of the expense and didn’t write it down, but this time I was also glad I didn’t write it down. It was an opportunity for me to discover that even if I make a mistake, Irit doesn’t yell at me, pinch me, push me or punish me. Unfortunately, if the kind of penalties I was used to receiving when I didn’t bring a receipt or if the receipt was unclear isn’t enough…

True, sometimes I don’t feel like doing anything and not filling out any chart and all the numbers mix up and make my eyes black…. So many new things I have to learn and do and make an effort. Sometimes all I feel like doing is getting into bed and never getting out of it.

And despite all the difficulties, I take the trouble to fill out the chart, get out of bed and come to meetings because, in addition to everything, I get something from Irit that no money can buy, and that’s what I think is the most important thing – warmth, caring, love and attitude. Because of Irit’s giving, I continue to come and do and try not to fall in between. True, sometimes I act like a little girl, but this is the girl in me who needs a warm, caring responsible adult who will be there for her.

I thank dear Irit for her way, for her patience and especially for her love and caring for me. I know at every point in time that I have an outstretched hand that continues to teach me and guide me as I embark on a new path without violence. Getting out of the cycle of violence after 19 years is not easy. And unfortunately, even while studying, I experienced violence and Irit was there for me. She hugged, supported and lifted me up from difficult situations.

I can say that thanks to Irit and your organization, my life was saved in every way. Thank you very much for the holy work you are doing.

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